you know you love me

Chuck: You just can’t stand to see someone finally change me, and it wasn’t you.
Blair: Well, if you believe that, then you really have changed, because now you’re a fool!

Nate: What’s going on?
Dan: Um… it’s complicated.
Nate: Does “complicated” mean you’re cheating on Vanessa?
Dan: No, no, no. I’m not cheating. I’m not cheating. But, I was with Serena.
Nate: I thought we both agreed to stay away from her.
Dan: I know, but this was a special circumstance.
Nate: Okay, forget me.
If you wanna be with Serena, you gotta say something to Vanessa.
Dan: No, it’s not that. It’s not that at all. I mean, Serena and I were helping Blair. We… investigated Chuck’s new girlfriend.
Nate: Why would you do that?
Dan: Because Eva’s not who Chuck thinks she is. That’s—that’s really all I can say. Blair made me promise.
Nate: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
So now— Now your promises to Blair mean more than your pact with me?

(Source: meesters)

Blair: How did you find this?
Dan: Well, when you told us where Eva first met Chuck, it’s in Prague’s red light district. So almost as a joke, I looked up brothels.
Serena: And a lot of them have websites. Turns out Eva has good love for you.
Blair: I’ve never been so happy for internet porn.
Humphrey, you’ve done a fine job. Serena and I can take it from here.
Dan: Okay, but you may lose me to CSI Williamsburg.
Blair: Serena made certain promises today that don’t include you. But, Dan, this is crucial information that has to be deployed expertly. Please promise you won’t tell anyone.
Serena: She means thank you, i’ll call you later.
Blair: No she won’t!
Serena, you have to come help me find a dress for the gala.
Serena: But we said we weren’t going?
Blair: Where else am I going to announce to the world that Chuck’s new lady is a lady of the evening?

(Source: meesters)

Blair: The woman is a saint! She didn’t recoil from those creepy cat rescuers or turn away from the pictures of those starving children. She didn’t even cringe when that homeless man licked her arm.
Dan: Well, she might be used to weird guys licking her.
Serena: Yeah, ‘cause she may be a saint, but she’s also a prostitute.

(Source: meesters)

Blair: I saw Eva selling her watch back to Cartier for cash.
Serena: Are you kidding me?
Blair: Then I went to Chuck’s and witnessed her give the world’s most credible altruistic excuse.
Serena: B, this is not what you promised me.
Dan: Hey, i’m gonna get a pretzel.
Blair: Is that Dan? That is not what you promised me.
Serena: No, it’s different. He came to me.
Blair: First, nonsense! Second, I really don’t care right now. Chuck’s about to be taken for a ride. We need to take that tart down! Now Humphrey has proven his worth in the past. He could be useful to us now.
Serena: This is not a good idea.

(Source: meesters)

Blair: Good afternoon, Chuck. I thought we might enjoy some tea. You know how I adore those empire bacon scones.
Chuck: I know everything about you, which is why I know your visit probably has more to do with a scheme than a scone.
Blair: Chuck, you’ve changed. What makes you think I haven’t? And speaking of your newfound affinity for the huddles masses, how is the delightful Eva?
Chuck: Leave her alone, Blair.
Blair: If you’re as serious about her as Cindy Adams thinks, then we’ll be crossing paths all the time. And don’t you think we should be friends?
[sees Eva] Yay! There she is!
Chuck: Uh, don’t worry, Blair was just-
Blair: Sitting for some tea. Scone?
Eva: I’d love to.
Blair: Eva, I must apologize. The first time we met I had no idea you’d be the woman who could finally change Chuck Bass.
Eva: Oh, the Chuck i’ve known has always been kind and generous, even when he had nothing himself.
Blair: You should’ve known him before he was shot.
Once, he sold me for a hotel.
Chuck: Actually, Blair, she knows. We have no secrets.
Blair: Blackmailers must be weeping all over town.

(Source: meesters)

Blair: It just so happens that my watch is broken.
Serena: You were wearing it yesterday and it worked perfectly fine.
Blair: Well, now it doesn’t. [smashes watch]
Serena: Blair, we had a deal. [Blair sees Eva] B? Why did you stop talking?
Blair: No reason. [hangs up]
Gossip Girl: Spotted: one angel selling her halo. Careful, Eva. Returning that watch may cost you the time of your life.

(Source: meesters)

Serena: We’re both having trouble moving on. But it was just so easy in Paris.
Blair: You were so easy in Paris.
Serena: Enough. But now—
Blair: Now you’re here, and those boys are taken.
Serena: For now.
Blair: Yes, you’re right.
Maybe Dan and Nate will see the error of their ways and break up with those girls, or they’ll marry them, and you’ll die hitting refresh.
Serena: Okay, fine. You know what?
I will stay away from Nate and Dan, but you have to stay away from Chuck and Eva. No plotting, no meddling, no Blair Waldorf-ing.

(Source: meesters)